“What he wants most in the world is to cut off his own hands.”
Beck hates his life. He hates his violent mother. He hates his home. Most of all, he hates the piano that his mother forces him to play hour after hour, day after day. He will never play as she did before illness ended her career and left her bitter and broken. But Beck is too scared to stand up to his mother, and tell her his true passion, which is composing his own music – because the least suggestion of rebellion on his part ends in violence.
When Beck meets August, a girl full of life, energy and laughter, love begins to awaken within him and he glimpses a way to escape his painful existence. But dare he reach for it?
“If people cut him open, they’d never accuse him of being empty.”
Listen, do you ever finish a book and just stare up at the ceiling, smiling because you just read something so beautiful and simultaneously feeling tears roll down your cheeks because now there is a deep fissure line running through your heart and you don’t know if you’ll ever be okay again?
I was slightly scared to read A Thousand Perfect Notes, because I was so hyped to read it. I’m the kind of person who gets overly excited about a book when my friends recommend it, but also in the months I’ve been on Goodreads, I’ve learned to be more sceptical — because going into a book with high hopes and ultimately being more disappointed than if I’d just lowered my standards sucks.
but!!! this!!!! book!!!!!
what I enjoyed
— ▸ Everything about Beck Keverich. Look, I love my badass-tough-as-nails YA heroines, but they all start to blend together after a while. Beck was so interesting to read about. I loved his brokenness, the complexities to his character and the way he looked at the world, a testament to the years of suffering he had been through. He is grumpy and annoying and I just want to cuddle him until the end of time.
— ▸The way the musical element is written was wonderful. Music is one of the things I’m really weirdly specific about when I read; I’ve played music for most of my life and love it with a passion, but that means that I also find it easy to call out unrealistic things. For example, in Wintersong, I kept rolling my eyes because half of the book sounded like a mash-up of a music textbook — but in ATPN, you can really tell that the author actually has experience with it, and it’s beautiful and amazing.
— ▸This book is a summary of the aesthetic I love. It’s starry nights spent on a hammock, feet barely brushing the grass. It’s concert halls and sharp smiles and fists on brick, long walks and girls made of sunshine and wit. Basically the inside of this book is just as gorgeous as the cover and I am living for it.
— ▸ It touches on such terrible, awful topics (abuse, relationships, mental illness) in such an eloquent way. I hurt so much for beck every time I saw an interaction between him and his mother. This book is so dark and haunting, and so utterly real and human. I felt rage and sorrow and compassion and I understood why beck felt the way he did, and how he both loved and hated the piano — it was a part of him, but a part of him that he’d never had a choice about.
How can something be so beautiful and terrible at the same time?
— ▸ I can’t believe I haven’t seen anyone talking about the references in this book. example:
Beck is unknowable.
Unless my memory is really terrible, Adam Parrish is also unknowable (it’s a famous quote), aka Adam from the raven cycle, who I love with all my heart! This made me so happy to see, and in the darkness of this scene, I found a smile on my face.
— ▸The ship = now 70% of my observable soul. Honestly? It was so sweet and pure, and while I feel that it was a little sudden towards the end, and a little too convenient, it has made me feel like I just ate a cinnamon roll sprinkled with glitter and happiness.
— ▸ Joey, beck’s little sister, is an amazing character. She’s such a typical little sister! I love how she isn’t pure and sweet or flat, but just a little girl who doesn’t know that the things she does are wrong because she’s never been taught to do the right thing. The love that Beck felt for her honestly made me want to cry; he wants to love her twice as hard to make up for the sin of hating his mother.
things I disliked
— ▸Crying. I don’t know what possesses me to read sad books at 2am so that I have to stifle the tears in my blankets, but I did it anyway. Why would anyone write an ending like that? Do authors enjoy watching my pain???
— ▸ On a serious note, I felt that we didn’t really know August as well as we could have. I still loved her character, but something felt lacking; her life is a little too perfect, and she’s a little too bright, a little too empty. Don’t get me wrong, I would still step on lego for her, but I feel that not as much time was spent on developing her character as Joey or Beck.
— ▸ I’m grasping at straws here and I can’t remember anything at the moment that I disliked, so I ‘ll end the negatives here.
I ‘ll see you all on the other side, and by “the other side”, I mean an alternate universe where this book had a happy ending and I can pretend that everything is fine.
What’s the last book that made you cry? Do you like to read contemporary? Tell me below!
(below = me spilling the tea)
Spilling the tea… on myself??
I haven’t posted in so long and I feel like a terrible human being. I am currently in the process of sending every single one of you cookies in order to make up for my awfulness.
I do have
excusesreasons, though. My laptop was broken a couple of weeks ago, and still hasn’t been fixed, which made it pretty difficult to review at all. If you follow my stories on Instagram, you might know that I also spent a weekend doubled over in pain because I accidentally inhaled too much spray paint. Added to exams and the stress put on me by the people around me in real life, I just haven’t been having the best of times.
I can’t wait to get back into posting regularly, though. Reading/reviewing honestly makes me so happy and another one of the reasons why I held off on posting was because I wasn’t in a very good place, and I didn’t want that to reflect on what I wrote. I genuinely do love the bookish community, and I wouldn’t want my content to suffer just because of what I’m going through. Quality > quantity, and more excuses like that.
I hope you have an amazing day! And also please go read this, I loved it.